You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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