it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
