The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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