So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
