i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
