i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
