HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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