I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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