Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
