What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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