Im at strip club and am horny
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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