Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize