Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
