So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
vagina is talking i cant
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
