are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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