I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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