And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
