I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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