Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm in love with you.
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...