Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
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