i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
