she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize