Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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