no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
