You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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