I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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