Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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