Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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