I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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