Duck Duck Cougar?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
