Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
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one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
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I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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