Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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