I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
3pm strippers are depressing
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
