I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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