I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
