Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Randomize
