he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
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