If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
