Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I love having hate sex.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
