its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
