i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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