Do you still have your period?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
