Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
