So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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