So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
