youre lurking in front of me
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
