"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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