think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Small penises have feelings too.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He keeps bees of course he's weird
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
