It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
