very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
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We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
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They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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