If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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