I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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