I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize