I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
