Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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