I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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