how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
