So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Randomize
